( it has been... a bit different with ning, since he died and returned. at first, just looking at him felt like it thumbed a fresh bruise, so soon after he and his sister and the rest of them marched to hang on his behalf. to hang and to burn, in the case of wen ning and wen qing - and though there's resounding proof that such a thing didn't actually happen, it spent a number of weeks being a topic that wei ying couldn't stand to face directly, dancing carefully around it in his mind to stave off the mind-numbing guilt that washed over him each time he failed to do so.
but quite a bit has happened since then. what were once open wounds have closed, faded to a dull ache with time and the insight regarding his future offered by the likes of lan zhan and a-yuan. and ning himself has continued to be just as diligent a friend as he always has, even trying to intercede with the mindfuck tree-sitters on his behalf just a few weeks ago - and all of this after how wei ying has been acting. he hasn't been mean to him, of course, he could never. but he has always had some sort of excuse not to be alone with the man, and when he looked at him, his gaze lingered vaguely on wen ning's nose or cheek rather than meeting his gaze. there's no way the man didn't notice.
perhaps it has been eating at wei wuxian, or perhaps the revelation comes all at once - but this morning, as he sits at the table with his bowl of sweet puffy cereal and catches sight of wen ning in the corner of his eye, he comes to the abrupt realization that the guilt he feels for their distance is stronger now than the guilt he feels for wen ning's supposed fate and whatever he endured in lieu of it. and he finds that he isn't so hungry anymore, rising to set the half-eaten bowl by the sink as he says, ) Wen Ning.
( ah, he hadn't meant for that to sound like apology, but it certainly did. it isn't enough of one, obviously, but he makes certain to brighten his tone just a bit to add, ) Take a walk with me? I thought I might head to town for a bit, and it's a fantastically boring trip without company.
12th, for wen ning.
but quite a bit has happened since then. what were once open wounds have closed, faded to a dull ache with time and the insight regarding his future offered by the likes of lan zhan and a-yuan. and ning himself has continued to be just as diligent a friend as he always has, even trying to intercede with the mindfuck tree-sitters on his behalf just a few weeks ago - and all of this after how wei ying has been acting. he hasn't been mean to him, of course, he could never. but he has always had some sort of excuse not to be alone with the man, and when he looked at him, his gaze lingered vaguely on wen ning's nose or cheek rather than meeting his gaze. there's no way the man didn't notice.
perhaps it has been eating at wei wuxian, or perhaps the revelation comes all at once - but this morning, as he sits at the table with his bowl of sweet puffy cereal and catches sight of wen ning in the corner of his eye, he comes to the abrupt realization that the guilt he feels for their distance is stronger now than the guilt he feels for wen ning's supposed fate and whatever he endured in lieu of it. and he finds that he isn't so hungry anymore, rising to set the half-eaten bowl by the sink as he says, ) Wen Ning.
( ah, he hadn't meant for that to sound like apology, but it certainly did. it isn't enough of one, obviously, but he makes certain to brighten his tone just a bit to add, ) Take a walk with me? I thought I might head to town for a bit, and it's a fantastically boring trip without company.